I have decided to blog for the first time in almost exactly eight years, when, as one can see below to my embarrassment, I blogged a mere five times—mostly while I was in Africa for a span of ten weeks. Fortunately, I have upgraded the blog’s title from the hyper-lame “RGR Blog” (my initials) to the super-cool “Verita in Amore,” which in Italian means truth in love. I tend to think that in another eight years I might be embarrassed by both the new title and at least some of the forthcoming posts, but, hey, you live and you learn.

I am driven to blog primarily for three reasons. First, I enjoy writing and believe I am relatively good at it. Blah.

Second, and more importantly, I am striving to move past what many Christians commonly refer to as “fear of man.” For those of you unfamiliar with this phrase, it is similar to but distinct from the phrase “not giving a *&#@ about what others think,” which is more colloquial yet also inherently callous. (Interestingly, this latter phrase has an impressive 380 million Google search results, yet “fear of man” has an astounding 5.19 billion Google search results. So, perhaps it is more colloquial (and, come to think of it, genderly problematic for some) than I originally thought.)

My desire to overcome fear comes at a time when arguably both “fear of man” and “not giving a *&#@ about what others think” are on the rise—neither of which is good for society. On the one hand, with respect to fear of man, a 2019 Pew Research poll found that an alarming 83% Americans are at least somewhat uncomfortable talking about politics with someone they do not know well. Forty-eight percent (48%) are more than somewhat uncomfortable. Similarly, a 2020 Cato Institute/YouGov poll found that 62% of Americans (and 77% of Republicans) have political opinions they are fearful to share. Fear abounds in this country—not just of speaking one’s mind, but of COVID-19, of the opposing political party, of deteriorating mental health, and even the whiff of civil war for some. For an overview of how social media, for example, is profoundly exacerbating these fears, see The Social Dilemma (2020 Documentary/Docudrama).

On the other hand, with respect to not giving a rip about what others think, just look at the way an increasing number of people tweet and politicians/pundits talk, for example (e.g., Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) saying at a political rally, “We’re going to impeach this motherf*$#er!” with respect to former President Trump; or the fact that just days ago the N.J. Democratic State Committee released attack ad that features several people dropping F-bombs after they are told that a Republican candidate for governor once attempted to ban swearing in his home town). Also, consider that one of the most reviewed books on all of Amazon (with a staggering 56,578 ratings at present) is titled “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.” Here’s a short excerpt, “You and everyone you know are going to be dead soon. And in the short amount of time between here and there, you have a limited amount of f*$#s to give. Very few, in fact. And if you go around giving a f*$# about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice—well, then you’re going to get f*$#ed.” (Symbols added). There is some truth there, but if it doesn’t reek of callousness, I don’t know what does.

Now, as a straight, cisgender, conservative, Protestant Christian white male who resides in the highly progressive Washington metropolitan area, many would say I have good reason to be fearful of speaking my mind. Others might argue that my intersectionality, or lack thereof, leaves me highly privileged and with no reason to fear. Whatever the case may be, I am in fact afraid to speak my mind. I always have been. But “[d]o the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain,” claimed the famous American philosopher/abolitionist Ralph Waldo Emerson. That’s not necessarily true, but, in his defense, he was an essayist, not a lawyer. 🙂 “Do the thing you fear, and the reduction of fear is almost certain” is more accurate (but less punchy). Fear, in essence, is a cage. I think to a scene in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers in which Aragorn asks Eowyn, “What do you fear, my lady?” She responds, “A cage. To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.” This moves me to emotion as I reflect on it.

Third, and most importantly, I am disturbed by both the increasing difficulty in our media and culture of finding truth—actual, objective truth—and the ease with which one can find highly polarized, unrighteously angered, dogmatically asserted half-truths or outright lies. Over the last few years, Pontius Pilate’s famous retort “What is truth?” (which was in response to Jesus’s claim that he “came into the world to testify to the truth”) regularly comes to mind. (Jn. 18:38). Well, what in fact is truth? In our country, the mainstream media will tell you it is one thing. Former President Trump’s base will tell you it is another thing altogether. The two sides seemingly differ drastically at almost every point. For the last ten or more years, our country (and world) has been described as postmodern—a hallmark of which is that truth is relative, socially- and historically-conditioned, and far from absolute or universal. Up until recently, I would have questioned that descriptor and thought, “Common, everyone believes in actual truth. Just look at the way people argue with each other: ‘I’m right, you’re wrong.’ ‘To be anti-abortion is misogynistic.’ ‘To attempt to get a transgender youth to identify with their biological sex is transphobic.'” These are all absolute truth claims, no? But now I can see some truth in the idea that our country is post-modern in the sense that there is very little consensus about anything. We don’t have much shared truth. We have “alternative facts” and “your truth” and “my truth.”

So again, what is truth? While, in my opinion, the culture has begun to engage in an Orwellian use of language, Merriam-Webster, to its credit, still defines truth first and foremost as, “the body of real things, events, and facts: actuality.” Oxford Languages defines it first as, “the quality or state of being true.” These definitions convey the idea of objective, absolute truth. Then again, phrases such as “my truth” and “your truth” have over 7 billion Google search results apiece. (To put this in context, “God” only generates 9.59 billion search results). These terms (“my truth” and “your truth”) obviously connote a subjective element. “My truth” for one person may be that immigrants are flagrantly taking over this country, depriving people like them of jobs, and need to be stopped, detained, and sent back at all costs. Meanwhile, “my truth” for the next person may be that the U.S. is a systemically racist, xenophobic place that is worse off than most immigrants’ home countries in many respects and needs to be rebuilt from the ground up. Both may be speaking falsities, but both are not speaking actual truths.

In closing, over the coming weeks, I will be blogging on several subjects (some of them culturally sensitive) that are of particular interest to me like: Christianity, social issues, the supernatural, and potentially a host of other riveting topics. I hope to write circumspectly, yet straight-forwardly; boldly, yet humbly (knowing that I will occasionally get it wrong); and lovingly, yet unabashedly. As Jesus’s disciple John exhorted us, “let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” (1 Jn. 3:18).

Go to minute marker :37 in the video below for the LOTR exchange between Aragorn asks Eowyn quoted above. It’s inspiring.

After a five month hiatus from blogging, I’m back to tell you about an online fundraiser I’m about to launch—one in which I think you’d have an awesome time participating.  

Since my Africa trip earlier this year, I’ve felt moved to try to raise some money for the people I met there, especially the children of this really undeveloped part of Kenya called South Hoor.[1]  Man, the South Hoor kids are so poor, and we easily could have been one of them (see The Incarnation Drawing).  I mean, check out a couple of these little guys.

Imagine you were one of them.  Really take yourself there…  You have no shoes.  You probably don’t even have sandals.  You own just one pair of exceptionally raggedy-looking clothes.  You have no toys.  No books.  No toiletries.  No showers or baths.  No medicine.  You dropped out of school, or just never enrolled, because your family can’t afford the school fees.  And you live in a five-foot high, seventy-five square foot hut made of sticks.[2]  Simply put, you need some serious help, brah. 

All of us, and I mean all of us, are so, so rich compared to them. If we saw and played with them, and put ourselves in their shoes (or bare feet), we’d want to help them.  There’s no doubt. 

Since coming back to the States, I’ve stayed in touch with the guy who persuaded me to take the trip to South Hoor, as well as a Kenyan, college-educated couple who live and serve there.  Through our conversations, it’s become apparent to me that educational assistance is a real need there.  With their help and yours, we’re going to provide some. 

Alright, here’s how the fundraiser will work. Every month, I’ll post a new fundraising challenge online.  The first month’s challenge, for example, will involve grocery shopping.  Every time we do a normal grocery shopping, the challenge will be to (1) abstain from buying a single, unnecessary grocery item, OR to replace that unnecessary item with a cheaper alternative, and (2) then give the money you would’ve spent on that item, or the difference in price between the two items, to this cause (or another one if you feel so led).  The item can be a one dollar can of beans, an eight dollar cake or steak, a three dollar bag of chips, or anything else you want it to be, including a twenty-five cent stick of gum.  And through your smartphone, you can donate the money while you’re right there at the checkout line. 

I’m going to be doing this, too, of course.  I’ll probably drop the unhealthiest snack-like item from my cart so I can reap the additional benefit of leading a healthier life.  During my last grocery shopping session, for example, this would’ve been a package of six M&M’S Ice Cream Cookies.  Three dollars to Harris Teeter, which had sales of $4.5 billion last year, and 1,500+ calories fo’ my mouf.  Next time, it’ll be three dollars to an African kid, who has virtually nothing, and a step closer to a six pack, or at least the prevention of a small buddha belly.  Ha ha. 

If for whatever reason the fundraiser in a given month doesn’t apply to you, don’t worry about it.  Next month’s fundraiser, which may ask you to give up buying your daily Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts’ coffee or other drink just one day per week, probably will.   

I realize many of you already give a lot to charities or just people, friends, and family in need.  But this will allow you to give even more without it really costing you anything.  In fact, it’ll probably make you happier and healthier (and even sexier according to Ashton Kutchar’s recent, inspiring Teen Choice Awards speech).  Plus, it’ll be fun. 

Tomorrow afternoon, I’ll post a link to the online fundraiser on this blog, as well as my Facebook page.  In the meantime, enjoy your restriction-free grocery shopping.   

[1] Earlier this year, two of my friends gave a combined $275 to me to use on these kids.  One of them donated $5 for every pair of shoes she owned, which, as she suggested, would make for a good future challenge.  Haha.  Thanks again, girls. 

[2] Now, some of you may be thinking, as I have before, that these kids don’t know any better—they see themselves not as poor, but as normal, because they are so isolated from the outside world.  But this isn’t the case.  Because of westerners and businessmen who occasionally pass through, and even some very limited internet access in their schools, these kids do in fact know that they are poor as dirt, even by their home country’s standards, and that a better life is attainable.  The vast majority of them, however, won’t attain that better life unless they catch a break from someone like me or you.  This fundraiser is going to give some of them that break. 

It was late-1984, mid-October to be exact, and my conception was imminent, as were two other kids’ during the next split second.  There I was—without form, without shape, without an ethnicity, but knowing that my number was about to be called.  During the prior second, four kids had been conceived—three by women in Asia, and the fourth by a South American.  Two of these women were unmarried.  Three lived in slums.  The wealthiest had a family that was earning $1,600 per year, which was good for about the fifty-fourth percentile worldwide.  Poor by American and European standards, but not the world’s.  If he wasn’t aborted or miscarried, the kid would have a chance at a nice life, but not a good one. 

I was now second in line, my anxiety level climbing, knowing that the quality of my life hung in the balance.  It had been six whole seconds since an American or European had been conceived.  Nine seconds since anyone had cracked the wealthiest ten percent.  And so I thought my odds may be better than most.  Still, my hope was no more than faint. 

The kid in front of me was escorted up to the counter of life and given a ticket.  A girl.  Geneva, Switzerland.  Father the Editor in Chief of the city’s main newspaper, the Tribune de Geneve.  Mother an eleventh grade English teacher.  The family among the wealthiest one percent in the world.  My spirits dropped.  The kid had just struck gold, and, in the process, had basically eliminated my chances of doing so, or so I thought.  But there was little time for contemplation, as I was now being brought to the counter of life myself, half-expecting to draw some poverty-stricken village in the Congo, or an orphanage in Haiti.  Out of the blue, a fleeting prayer came to mind: “God, if you’ll just give me a good, somewhat wealthy family, I promise I’ll give to the poor.  I could probably even be convinced to adopt an orphan or two or something.”

With that, I was given my ticket, and I looked down to read it.  The moment of truth was here.  A boy.  Paterson, New Jersey—the U.S.A., son!  Father a well-educated, but struggling actor.  Mother a waitress and U.S. Air Force veteran.  A lower-middle class family in the echelons of America, but among the wealthiest three percent in the world!  I had made it.  The world was mine!

It appears that at least sixty people have now viewed yesterday’s post. If each of us started giving just $10 per month (I realize I may sound like an infomercial, but just deal with it), within one year we will have raised close to ten times the average annual salary of one-third of the world’s population. In the third world, this amount could put 400–600 children through school. It could bring a total of thirty to fifty computers to ten or more schools that currently don’t have any computers. It could provide 500–1,000 children with shirts and sneakers (FN1 According to one report, there are at least 300 million shoeless children world-wide. To put this in perspective, the United States’ population is about 310 million. According to another report, your average American owns eleven pairs of shoes, with men owning an average of five and women owning an average of, gulp, seventeen. Ha ha. I’m somewhat embarrassed, especially as a man, to admit that I own ten pairs I think). Or this amount could do a number of other things. Think about the joy these kids would receive from owning their very first pair of kicks or being able to use computers for the first time in their lives. Seriously – let us stop and dwell on it for, say, just twenty or thirty seconds. I’m going to do it, too… Their joy would be infinitely greater than the joy we experience from buying our 40th t-shirt or 10th pair of jeans, or being 20 rows closer at the next sporting event (not to suggest that we necessarily shouldn’t have and be thankful for these things).

Anyhow, like I promised in yesterday’s post, listed below are a few charities I recommend and their outreaches.

Amazima Ministries International: Founded in 2008 by then 19-year old Katie Davis, Amazima feeds, educates, and encourages orphaned and vulnerable children and the poor in the African country of Uganda. Katie’s story is very interesting to me, and so I’ll share some of it. Katie, who was raised in a Catholic family no different than many of ours, first visited Uganda as a high school senior in 2006, and was very moved by her experience. Despite being the senior class president and homecoming queen of her high school, and having scholarship offers to top universities, she opted to move to Uganda for what she thought would be a gap-year following high school. To make a long story short, she is now the single adoptive mother of 13 girls and plans to remain in Uganda indefinitely I believe. You can learn more about Katie and Amazima, and donate to the ministry, here: http://www.amazima.org.http://www.amazima.org.

Orphans Overseas: Partnering with the Salvation Army and Intel, Orphans Overseas operates a preschool and orphanage out of Kenya and also provides tech education in Vietnam. I’ve visited the orphanage and was very impressed (photos can be found on my Facebook page). OO also plans to bring 2,500 Intel-supported classmate PCs to schools in the greater-Nairobi area of Kenya and, in addition, it supports various other orphan care initiatives, including early childhood development, rescue care for abandoned infants, support programs for single mothers, family reunification support, domestic & intercountry adoption, and orphanage education projects. Learn more about or donate to Orphans Overseas here: http://www.orphansoverseas.org/.

International Justice Mission: For those of my friends who are attorneys or justice-minded, IJM is a human rights agency that rescues victims of slavery, sexual exploitation, and other forms of violent oppression. It was founded by former U.S. Department of Justice attorney Gary Haugen in the aftermath of the Rwandan genocide, and it now has a total of 16 field offices and 500+ lawyers on four different continents, including one here in Nairobi, Kenya, where it specializes in helping victims of child sexual offenses, police abuse, and illegal detention. Learn more about or donate to it here: http://www.ijm.org/.

For those who are reluctant to donate to a charity they know relatively little about, another option would be to send donations directly to me, which I would use to send shirts, sneakers, sports equipment, and/or other things to the South Hoor people with whom I spent the last week (to learn more about them, see my recently posted Facebook photo album titled, “South Hoor, Rift Valley”). In fact, if you wanted your money to be used for something specific (e.g., basketball sneakers), I would do my best to accommodate you. While I can’t guarantee I’d use the funds as effectively as the charities listed above, I can assure you that 100% of them will be used for the people.

This will conclude my second post. Again, feel free to ask any questions or make any comments.

To be up-front, this is to inspire my income-earning friends, family members, and whoever else may read this to give (or continue to give) money to charity, specifically to those that help the poor. For those that don’t currently give and aren’t overly inclined to start, like myself, I’ll suggest an initial commitment of $10 or $20 per month. I’ll start with $20, which can easily be accounted for in any number of different ways. For example, you could just have water, instead of dinner and drinks, when out with friends one night a month. I don’t think this should sound all that unappealing when you consider that (1) approximately 1,000,000,000 (one billion) people suffer from malnutrition (see http://www.worldhunger.org/articles/Learn/world%20hunger%20facts%202002.htm), including 40%+ of children in countries such as India, and (2) that approximately 70% of American adults are overweight (see http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/overwt.htm). Other benefits of giving would be developing discipline, generating curiosity among your friends, and possibly motivating them to start giving themselves. Anyhow, here we go.

Although I’m a Christian, I want this piece to have, at most, an indistinctly Christian ring to it, but I’m nevertheless going to start with a Bible verse. (If you’re not a Christian, don’t be put off, just appreciate the verse for its universal wisdom, like a number of esteemed non-Christians and even atheists do with the Bible as a whole). 1 Corinthians 4:7 provides, “For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?” To me, this verse points out that our assets—physical health, material possessions, intellectual gifts—were all received by us in large part. Sure, some people have developed them more than others, but I believe the desire and faculty to develop physically, economically, and intellectually have been received by us in large part, too. In fact, many scientists and philosophers believe that our free will isn’t as free as a lot of us think it is.

Despite this, a lot of us, including myself, are prideful, or inwardly “boastful” to use the verse’s term. I’m a fairly well-off, decent-looking, smart, athletic, well-built American attorney (not that I’m flawless; I’m certainly not), but I could have just as easily been a poor, unschooled, unathletic, malnourished, HIV-infested third-world beggar. When you consider the following stats, the latter was probably more likely: Of the approximate seven billion people in the world, the average income among adults is equivalent to a mere $18,000 per year (this includes inflation and cost of living factors; see http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17512040 ). And more than a third of the world’s population lives on less than $2 per day. That’s less than $750 per year, which is what a lot of us make within just a few days. Let me repeat this: over two billion people make less than $750 per year! And most probably have very little say in the matter. They could maximize their talents, resources, and connections, and yet never rise out of this pathetic income bracket, that is, unless people like me and you do something about it.

So, even those who earn, say, $25,000–$30,000 per year as an administrative assistant or school teacher are rich, at least in comparison to a good chunk of the world. But our fellow men and women, one of whom we easily could have been through no fault of our own, are mostly poor, struggling with poverty, disease, and hopelessness. Let’s give them some help. But it is not only they who will benefit from our help. For “happiness doesn’t come from what we get but what we give.” (Neurosurgeon Ben Carson). And while “we make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” (Winston Churchill).

Even for a mere $10 or $20 per month, we can dramatically alter the course of several persons’ lives, people who will forever be grateful and also infinitely more likely to lead productive, beneficial lives—people who we could have very well been. $10 or $20 per month! That’s just 2–3 drinks at the bar or 3–4 lattes at the coffee shop. It’s a haircut once every six weeks instead of every three. It’s one less grocery item every time we shop. In other words, $10–$20 is practically nothing, even for those of us with a lot of school debt or bills to pay. And for those of us who are now opposed to giving up a small luxury or indulgence, you don’t have to—just save a little less money. As C.S. Lewis said, “nothing that you have not given away will ever really be yours,” anyway.

Some of us would be happy to give, but don’t know where to start. As some of you know, I’ve been in Africa during the last several weeks, over which time I’ve been fortunate to have been exposed to a number of different African charities and missions groups. I’m going to list a handful of them tomorrow along with a brief overview of their outreach. Africa is a great place to send your money as, get this, 47% of its close to one billion sub-Saharan population lived on $1.25 per day or less as of 2008 (see http://www.worldhunger.org/articles/Learn/africa_hunger_facts.htm). That cute little guy in the picture below (my man, Huntingtu, whose mother I know earns 100 Kenyan shillings or approximately $1.25 per day) is probably on pace to be one of them—to lead a life of abject poverty, despair, and hopelessness. Give him a little something, even just $10 or $20 per month, and make a difference.

Alright, this concludes my message. Feel free to comment or ask me any questions. For every person who I discover will start giving $10 per month or more to a charity geared towards the poor, even the poor in the U.S., I will increase my monthly giving by $1.

Actually, on second thought, I’ll conclude with a quote by renowned atheist, mathematician, and author (my Dad’s favorite), Bertrand Russell. I think at first glance it’s a little too philosophical or scholarly for most of us Gen X or Yers, but, if you stick with it, I think you’ll find it moving, especially the second half of it.

United with his fellow-men by the strongest of ties, the tie of a common doom, the free man finds a new vision with him always, shedding over every daily task the light of love. The life of Man is a long march through the night, surrounded by invisible forces, tortured by weariness and pain, towards a goal that few can hope to reach, and where none may tarry long. One by one, as they march, our comrades vanish from our sight, seized by the silent orders of omnipotent Death. Very brief is the time in which we can help them, in which their happiness or misery is decided. Be it ours to shed sunshine on their path, to lighten their sorrows by the balm of sympathy, to give them the pure joy of a never-tiring affection, to strengthen failing courage, to instill faith in hours of despair. Let us not weigh in grudging scales their merits and demerits, but let us think only of their need — of the sorrows, the difficulties, perhaps the blindnesses, that make the misery of their lives; let us remember that they are fellow-sufferers in the same darkness, actors in the same tragedy with ourselves. And so, when their day is over, when their good and their evil have become eternal by the immortality of the past, be it ours to feel that, where they suffered, where they failed, no deed of ours was the cause; but wherever a spark of the divine fire kindled in their hearts, we were ready with encouragement, with sympathy, with brave words in which high courage glowed.

$10+ per month. Do it.